I watched a movie last night that left an impression on me. The title of the movie is "Woman Thou Art Loosed" based on the novel by Bishop T.D.Jakes (I'm thinking I need to read the book now!). The movie is basically about an unforgettable story that follows the life of Michelle Jordan who is raised in a home of dysfunction and abuse. The years of mistreatment from her mother's boyfriend (who sexually abused her) result in Michelle's entanglement in a world of drugs, prostitution and imprisonment.
Michelle is finally out on parole and she's determined to turn her life around. She's attending revival at the church, trying to work on her estranged relationship with her mother and even reconnecting with her first love. She spends hours at revival and the preaching of T. D. Jakes is affecting her in a positive manner. She's working through her anger and issues with forgiveness. Finally, T. D. Jakes asks everyone to bring something from their past that has them bound. T. D. Jakes believes that if you bring the object and leave it at the altar it is symbolic of you letting it go. This way you can start the process of healing. Michelle decides to bring her bloody dress (the dress she wore when she was assaulted by her mother's boyfriend). Apparently, she had it buried under her mother's house for over 20 years.
When T. D. Jakes makes the altar call Michelle is on her way. She's smiling and her friends and even her mother is waving their approval at her. She bends down to place her dress at the altar unaware that at the same moment her mother's boyfriend (who the mother chose to believe over her daughter btw) is at the altar too. He is finally accepting Jesus and ready to change his life. He is being sincere and tried to call out to Michelle and beg her forgiveness. However, the minute she looks up and sees him standing there reaching out to her she snapped. She pulled out her gun (which she was carrying for protection because the pimp that she used to work for demanded that she return to work for him and when she refused he beat her to a pulp so a friend of hers gave her a gun). She shot her mother's boyfriend several times killing him instantly.
Following this she is sentenced to death and is on death row being counseled by T. D.Jakes when the movie begins. Throughout the movie we learn of the sexual abuse by her stepfather and the path she chosed after that. I was deeply touched by this movie, I cried like a baby. I'm pretty emotional so it is not unusual for me to cry while watching movies. I love lifetime movies and I cry when I watch them too! I'm not really blogging about me crying. I have a few points that I want to make so I'm just going to get to it. I want to take a minute to really talk to parents. In this movie, the mother chose to believe her boyfriend over her daughter even though Michelle told her what happened right way. In fact she was still wearing her bloody dress and her cheek was swollen from where he slapped her. The evidence was right in front of her mother's eyes but she still insisted that her daughter was lying. Later she did confront her boyfriend but after he reassured her that he would never do such a thing and how could she even think that then she accepted that as the truth. This really bothers me because children are innocent and even if you don't believe something they say as a parent you should do your research. When in doubt, check it out.
I believe that parenting is a vey serious commitment. As for me, I'd rather be called an "over-protective parent" than a negligent parent. My children are that important to me. The way I look at it is like this...our children did not ask to come here. We were the ones that decided that we wanted to bring children in this world. We made that choice whether wholeheartedly or not. Therefore we have a duty- a responsiblity to these children. I've often wonder how can a mother stay in this kind of situation and allow it to totally break her child/ren? There is no excuse for this. If a child comes to her/his mother and tells her he/she is hurt, s/he's coming for protection. A mother is suppose to be able to provide that.
Michelle Jordan stated that once she lost her innoncence she felt like a part of her had died. She said that one minute she was singing and playing just as a child would and then in one single moment all of that vanished and she would never be able to get that back. She was so hurt by what her step-father did and she couldn't understand it. But then to be rejected again by her mother really hurt her all over again. How do you get past that kind of hurt? T.D. Jakes told her that a part of her hadn't really died, that part was in hiding and that's why it was important for healing to take place so that the child in her could come out of hiding.
So what was her mother response to all of this when the truth finally came out? She believes that she did the best she could in the situation. I was so angry when I heard this fictitious mother explain that bad things happen and that it happened to her and that her mother told her that "we've all got our crosses to bear and our little dresses to wear" (whatever that means). We are the adults in the situation and we need to figure out how to address whatever problems may arise in our household. I'm tired of people taking the easy way out and brushing it under the rug, that's why abuse happens so often. There's no one I HATE more than a child molester. Yes I HATE!! I think in this case I'm allowed. I think they are just the worst kind of people, I'm not even sure we can call them humans. They are just plain filthy and I believe that there is no kind of justice better for them than the death penalty. I believe this and I've always felt this way but there is another point from the movie that is stuck in my head. It's when Michelle says to T. D. Jakes that she has forgiven her mother and she hopes that her mother will forgive her too because it was not up to her to take something from her (killing her boyfriend) because something (her innocence & childhood) was taken from her. She finally realized that it was up to God to judge and if God could forgive him then she could too. It was really profound because I'm not sure how a person can just let go of all that hurt and anger? All I know is that Jesus is the answer. Until we surrender all of our hurts to him we cannot be truly free. In order to have healing we have to forgive and let go of the hurt. God knows I'm not perfect, I struggle with forgiveness too. But I do know that the Bible says "by his stripes we are healed." Therefore, I believe that healing can happen and will happen.
I believe that there are many broken and hurting people in this world because the devil is out at work attacking any and everyone he can get to. Because of this, the cycle still continues. Hurting kids turn into hurting adults and if they don't get over the hurt (through healing) then they will ultimately continue the hurting cycle. Of course I'm not claiming to be an expert on this. I just think that parents need to be constantly aware and know that abuse does exist and it can happen to your child too. And if it has already happened to you my friend and you are hurting today, just know that God is with you and He will never leave you. Seek Him and you will find Him.
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